say you’re on a boat, in the middle of a lake. the whole point is to get to the other side, which you’ve heard is an amazing place to visit.
now, after only a few minutes, the boat springs a small leak. it’s small enough not to immediately jeopardize you, but it’s enough so that you notice the water slowly — but surely — pooling at the bottom of the boat.
so you have two choices. because you’re closer to the home shore, you can just row back home and give up on the whole “other side” experience. this would be the safest choice. the other would be to try and make it to the other side, while trying your best to remove the water as often as possible. of course, the leak could get bigger, and maybe the other side isn’t really worth it anyway (or so you’ve heard), and is it really worth dying for — or at the very least, potentially getting seriously harmed?
as much as i say i’m risk-averse….
I bought this about a month ago because it seemed promising and I have an oil problem (HI T-ZONE I DON’T LIKE YOU) so I believed it would be of some benefit.
I HAVE SEEN NONE.
I’m actually breaking out more, especially around my nose. It doesn’t really do anything for my face as I look just as oily as I do with my preferred moisturizer (which isn’t reviewed well by Paula’s Choice but I swear it works with my skin, and it’s great beyond the lack of oil control sadly). Because it’s so light, I’ve actually been using a lot of it, and it’s not really hydrating (I have combination skin).
So, because of a recommendation, I’m going for Paula’s Choice 4 Men.
Let’s see how this goes.
No, this isn’t about the Hilary Duff song; that would have no comma.
I called the worship/music team for a meeting. Everyone but my technically back-up leader was able to come out. (He had work issues, but I met with him and his wife separately tonight anyway for a nice dinner and a catch-up discussion over the hell that has been my August.) This was fine because out of all of them (next to the 동생 that is crushing on me…sigh) he knew the most at that point anyway.
So I basically discussed my life situation and, well, confessed (for lack of a better term) what happened over the past month in regards to my sexuality. To put it simply, I stated that I was ready for a relationship, and that I had to actually work out how I really about the faith x sexuality intersection. I mentioned that I had clung onto celibacy for the people around me, and not for myself. A team member (to be honest, they’re all close friends) stated that it may have been partially also because I was scared to actually face it head on and this was my one way of avoiding it. That is true.
Interestingly, the team took it well. They all prayed for me and stuff and it was kinda heavy for a practice night. I know that some of them would object to me actually being in a relationship, although regardless, they have my back.
They are also aware that nothing may come of this. Maybe my mindset is currently in a fluctuating state, and I may come back around on this. Maybe I will totally sell myself out. Maybe I’ll somehow find some sort of middle ground or space that I can actually be fully comfortable in. But…they are still supporting me.
The main reason I mentioned it in the first place — beyond the obvious accountability aspects — is because there’s a pretty big chance (I would say almost guaranteed) that I would have to step down from the team if I was in a relationship (or actively seeking one). There’s also a small chance that I could even be kicked out from the church. And oddly enough, I’m okay with it. I’m not, like, HAPPY about it, nor am I saying that it won’t hurt me at all. But one thing that I realised both yesterday and today is the fact that these people are with me for the long run, and it doesn’t matter if I’m a card-carrying member of my church. They love me for me.
And that…is a tremendous blessing.
Now let’s see if anything actually happens.