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how a gay korean christian in edmonton, alberta tumbles through life without losing his faith or gaining an STD.

mostly, though, it'll be about random things.

say you’re on a boat, in the middle of a lake. the whole point is to get to the other side, which you’ve heard is an amazing place to visit.

now, after only a few minutes, the boat springs a small leak. it’s small enough not to immediately jeopardize you, but it’s enough so that you notice the water slowly — but surely — pooling at the bottom of the boat.

so you have two choices. because you’re closer to the home shore, you can just row back home and give up on the whole “other side” experience. this would be the safest choice. the other would be to try and make it to the other side, while trying your best to remove the water as often as possible. of course, the leak could get bigger, and maybe the other side isn’t really worth it anyway (or so you’ve heard), and is it really worth dying for — or at the very least, potentially getting seriously harmed?

as much as i say i’m risk-averse….

SYPHAY TIME!!!!!!! #yeg #yegfood #yesimeating

Korea’s Next Top Model - Guys & Girls (Cycle 5)
EPISODE 3 - Makeovers & Music Video Challenge (PART 2)

I forgot to mention this earlier, but I think it’s hilarious how the “before” shots are, like, completely without makeup and any styling.  It’s like they forced them out of bed to take a photo.

8. Choi Jung-jin

He looks a lot better (chic, younger) with his new hair.

He was part of a trio that was supposed to be, like, neighbourhood menace kids.  He, the oldest guy, was matched with the two youngest.  Interestingly, he fit in pretty well, mostly cuz he smiled in a goofy/cute sort of way through the whole thing.  I don’t think the judges were really enamoured by any of the three though (as the rest are below him).

9. Hwang Ki-bbeum

She was supposed to be the sexy girl.  The judges were overall disappointed because she had a very blank face and didn’t, like, ham or sex it up.

She kinda shot herself in the foot at the beginning, though, as she said she was not “videogenic”.  Because she lacked that confidence, it showed.

Her wavy hair looked FANTASTIC, though.  She admitted that the makeover wasn’t a huge one, but she looks sooooo good.

10. Kim Min-jung

She still looks really good (well, since they changed her makeover halfway through).  She looks…I don’t know, younger?

Her scenes were fine…hence her position.

11. Kim Seung-hui

I don’t get why she’s in here (I think I feel that way about the youngest girl in each cycle) but…she was fine.

I really don’t like ombre hair but she looks good with it.

12. Kim Jong-hoon

Basically, he went into full acting mode and lost the model part.


I really don’t know about his hair.  Let’s see how it is in future photoshoots.

13. Jung Yong-su


The issue is that he’s completely blank in the face.  And that continues to remain the same.  Because he has so much potential (young age, height, face), they’re keeping him, but…SECOND STRIKE, BOY.

Also, his face — and especially his eyes — aren’t symmetrical.  I think he only had one 쌍꺼풀 at one point, and it threw me off.

But he’s so cute…………

14. Jung Dongkyu

Bye, young boy.

The reason for his elimination is because he’s stuck on “cute”.  There’s no real modelesque quality in him, the judges feel…at this point, anyway.  While he was fine in the video, they said that he was kinda repetitive and flat.  That, with his continued lacklustre performance over the past weeks, resulted in his elimination.

To be honest, I can see “idol” or “actor” but not “model”.

****NEXT WEEK****

It appears as though they go see “Hedwig” or something because the guys and girls are paired up and the guys are in drag.  (It’s not exactly drag cuz it isn’t campy, but based on the small glimpses in the preview, I don’t know what to call it.)

This should be good.

Korea’s Next Top Model - Guys & Girls (Cycle 5)
EPISODE 3 - Makeovers & Music Video Challenge (PART 1)

That was a very interesting episode.

They started off with makeovers.  Min-jung’s had to be redone because it wasn’t looking great, but there were no breakdowns…although the guys were hilariously tortured when waxed.  (It seemed limited to legs and underarm hair, although I think it included the chest/stomach area too.)

Ji-an had a breakdown at home after showering, though, as her hair is extremely curly/frizzy and turned into a huge puffball.  And this is what I love about KNTM (beyond the drama and the photos) — instead of talking about her behind her back or badmouthing her, they were basically talking about how they didn’t know how to help.  I think it was Kibbeum who pulled her out of the confessional room after (and I love her more for it).

They filmed a music video for Beenzino (which I linked to last week, since the music video’s been out for a while).  Each contestant had a unique scene and a general scene (they had to climb out of a washing machine and shoot something that I guess encapsulated their character).  Although no one did miserably, some people failed to live up to their potential.

So who went home?

(Note about the pics: they’re screencaps and they had this funny sparkle/dust effect on all the shots, so that’s why you’re seeing white spots everywhere.)

1. Han Seung-su

This guy continues to bother me because he comes off kinda awkward and creepy (he appears to have a crush on Yerim), but he’s VERY photogenic, and he struck a solid balance between “actor” and “model”.  While I wouldn’t have given him the #1 slot, he was admittedly one of the best.


And if a makeover is simply shaving your head — when you’re a guy — well….

2. Lee Cheol-wu

I’m of two minds about him.  While he did this challenge very well and enveloped his character very well (he was the gay “top”…which he literally said…because I think that means the more “masculine” gay person??????…idk idk idk), he seemed somewhat uncomfortable about it.  But I mean, as a straight Korean man, I don’t think his response was homophobic.  And he just went for it — he flirted, he touched the other guy, and he gave “lovey-dovey” (oh oh oh oh) eyes.  But at the end of a cut, he was just like freaking out.  He said that it was it was like horror and shock.

But honestly, he was my #1.

The blond looks great in the pic but in the talking-head shots, it looks very…wheaty.

3. Bang Tae-eun

He’s becoming a favourite of mine.  He seems to be the most “masculine” guy, and I like that about him.  He did well in this (but I mean, it was basically having “couple” scenes with a pretty girl) and he looked good.

He has slightly edgier hair now but that’s it???

4. Hyun Jieun




5. Shin Jae-hyuk

This is the other man in the gay couple.  He was a bit overshadowed by Cheol-woo, that’s for sure.

Interestingly, to be honest, I think he’s actually gay.  I’ve said this before, because he was the one who knew all about makeup and skincare in the first episode, but tellingly, he wasn’t freaking about being in a gay couple.  He was just trying to convince himself that Cheol-woo was an “awesome hyung”.  And that’s how he got through it.

So…….yeah.  I like his makeover?  I will say, though, that he has never looked better (so far) than in his makeover shot.

6. Han Ji-an

I felt bad for her because her hair looks SO BAD after getting washed.  But the short cut looks good on her and makes her look more modelesque.

She was fine in the video — neither horrible nor amazing.

7. Kim Ye-rim

Honestly, while I recognize her now, she still isn’t really standing out for me.  She reminds me of a mix between UEE and Sohee (neither of whom I have any great affection for), so….

But she was very cute in the video.

You know, it’s not really a comeback if YOU NEVER LEFT.

But hi, Sistar.  I didn’t know you were gonna promote “I Swear”.  But here you are.

It’s funny to me how dark Hyorin is compared to how light Dasom is.

KNTM is helping me learn English. Wait, what?!?!? (Granted, I don’t think Top Model is a religion per se….) #KNTM #topmodel #ESL


New Nintendo 3DS and XL ⊟

Just when you thought this week couldn’t get any wilder, Nintendo goes and reveals a new 3DS and XL model for Japan. Europe will also receive the new portables next year, according to CVG. If we get a U.S. release date, I expect it to be for 2015.

The new line also has a new stick-ish button on the right side that replaces the need for a Circle Pad Pro, a more powerful CPU, improved 3D viewing angles, Super Famicom-esque colored ABXY buttons, two additional shoulder buttons, NFC support (for Amiibos!), improved battery life (up to 6 hours on 3DS, 7 hours on XL), and HTML5 support for the built-in browser. It also now uses Micro SDs instead of SD cards. Check out the removable back!

The standard system features a 3.88-inch top screen (compared to the 3.53-inch top screen in the original 3DS), while the new XL screen is the same as the old one at 4.88 inches. Both release in Japan on October 11, alongside new charging docks. The standard edition 3DS comes in White or Black for ¥16000 ($154), while the XL in Metallic Blue or Black will go for ¥18800 ($181).

Images via Inside Games and Volotaire!

BUY Nintendo 2DS & 3DS/XL, upcoming games

Here’s the thing: I realise that Nintendo is simply following the times now.  Like how Apple releases the “half” models (4 -> 4S, 5 -> 5S), Nintendo’s doing a +0.5 upgrade.  Like Apple, the new model will be backwards compatible with existing 3DS games, but there will be new games that will only work on the ~NEW~ 3DS.  (Hi, Xenoblade Chronicles.  I’m sorry I never finished the game on my Wii…U, actually.  Anyway, should we try this again?  I really hated your sidequests and that’s pretty much why I gave up.)

I also realise that my existing 3DS games and data can be ported to the ~NEW~ 3DS, if/when I do get one (lbr, it’s more of a when).

I’m very excited for the upgrades and the new swappable covers

HOWEVER — WHY IS THIS JAPAN ONLY?  In today’s Internet-tied society, many people who are not in Japan will realise that this is coming soon, and they may hold off on getting the new hardware.  Granted, I realise that Japan’s a MAJOR market for Nintendo (duh) and there’s been some slowdown there so this should increase the excitement — and sales — for Nintendo.  Also, this isn’t the first time they’ve done this (DS -> DSi) although (as far as I recall) only downloadable software was DSi-only.  The cartridges were always for the “DS family”.

So I’m wondering how New 3DS-only games will work out in the long run.

I bought this about a month ago because it seemed promising and I have an oil problem (HI T-ZONE I DON’T LIKE YOU) so I believed it would be of some benefit.


I’m actually breaking out more, especially around my nose.  It doesn’t really do anything for my face as I look just as oily as I do with my preferred moisturizer (which isn’t reviewed well by Paula’s Choice but I swear it works with my skin, and it’s great beyond the lack of oil control sadly).  Because it’s so light, I’ve actually been using a lot of it, and it’s not really hydrating (I have combination skin).

So, because of a recommendation, I’m going for Paula’s Choice 4 Men.

Let’s see how this goes.

If only it was stiffer….
Me.  (Guess the context.  :P)

No, this isn’t about the Hilary Duff song; that would have no comma.

I called the worship/music team for a meeting.  Everyone but my technically back-up leader was able to come out.  (He had work issues, but I met with him and his wife separately tonight anyway for a nice dinner and a catch-up discussion over the hell that has been my August.)  This was fine because out of all of them (next to the 동생 that is crushing on me…sigh) he knew the most at that point anyway.

So I basically discussed my life situation and, well, confessed (for lack of a better term) what happened over the past month in regards to my sexuality.  To put it simply, I stated that I was ready for a relationship, and that I had to actually work out how I really about the faith x sexuality intersection.  I mentioned that I had clung onto celibacy for the people around me, and not for myself.  A team member (to be honest, they’re all close friends) stated that it may have been partially also because I was scared to actually face it head on and this was my one way of avoiding it.  That is true.

Interestingly, the team took it well.  They all prayed for me and stuff and it was kinda heavy for a practice night.  I know that some of them would object to me actually being in a relationship, although regardless, they have my back.

They are also aware that nothing may come of this.  Maybe my mindset is currently in a fluctuating state, and I may come back around on this.  Maybe I will totally sell myself out.  Maybe I’ll somehow find some sort of middle ground or space that I can actually be fully comfortable in.  But…they are still supporting me.

The main reason I mentioned it in the first place — beyond the obvious accountability aspects — is because there’s a pretty big chance (I would say almost guaranteed) that I would have to step down from the team if I was in a relationship (or actively seeking one).  There’s also a small chance that I could even be kicked out from the church.  And oddly enough, I’m okay with it.  I’m not, like, HAPPY about it, nor am I saying that it won’t hurt me at all.  But one thing that I realised both yesterday and today is the fact that these people are with me for the long run, and it doesn’t matter if I’m a card-carrying member of my church.  They love me for me.

And that…is a tremendous blessing.

Now let’s see if anything actually happens.