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how a gay korean christian in edmonton, alberta tumbles through life without losing his faith or gaining an STD.


mostly, though, it'll be about random things.


Respect. It could be a loaded word, a heavy word…or even a meaningless word. Maybe it’s relative.

To me, it’s a recognition of the other person’s value and worth as a human being…cuz like, we’re all in this together, and we’re all in the same boat. There’s an element of deference and humility; I have to recognize that I’m not necessarily better than that other person.

It’s hard sometimes when the client is being a complete idiot, but you know, patience training.

But honestly, there are those who are senior to me, those that are at the “same level” as me, and those that I’m a 형/오빠 (older “sibling”) to. Those in my life, I respect. For better or for worse, I have a tendency to prioritize other people above me. (This isn’t meant to be a brag because with this comes my “people pleaser” mentality…which isn’t always a good thing.) From these people I expect the same in return.

Of course, I expect a basic amount of respect in less personal situations. For example, I expect clients to respect my work for them, especially when I’m bending over backwards in using my best efforts to complete the files. It drives me nuts when people think that they can bypass me and get better or more special attention from the lawyer (SPOILER ALERT: he’s not the one doing 90% of the file) or think that I don’t know what I’m doing because I don’t have the law degree. While I get that — obviously — he has the training and the knowledge of law, I have been trained for my job and have enough experience to do it well. Also, I ALWAYS ask my boss if I’m unsure about anything, because ultimately, it’s his practice, not mine.

Anyway, there are times when I lose — or never had — respect from a friend. That’s the point where I cut him/her off, cuz if I’m forever beneath him/her, or not even worth his/her time…why do I bother putting in my time and effort into the friendship? I mean, this guy is a perfect example of this.

Another example: I used to be close to this married couple (first I was close to the girl, but I got to know the guy afterwards as well). Basically, they were a 형 & 누나 to me. Eventually, cuz of school (I think???…for him???) they ended up going to Toronto, and that’s where my family was at that point in time. So obviously, whenever I visited, I tried to hang out and make time for them.

One time, they asked me to do a favour for them. It involved bringing dog stuff back to Edmonton for them; while they were coming to Edmonton for a visit, they had no room cuz their luggage was already full or something. They didn’t have much time for a visit so they were like, “Oh, we’ll contact you in Edmonton and hang out then!” So I went back home and waited…and waited…and waited…and eventually they contacted me but only to get the stuff I brought back.

This incensed me. I remember blogging about it back then (on my now-deleted Blogspot page) and ultimately putting them on BLAST because I felt so offended. Looking back on it, I obviously overreacted (there’s a reason I deleted that blog, haha), but that lack of respect was there. The thing is, they didn’t even thank me for doing them a favour. The stuff wasn’t exactly easy to ship back; I remember something leaking because it wasn’t closed tightly or properly…and in the end, I just felt like a glorified (FREE) courier service. So if I was going to be treated like this, why even bother?

Basically, once I feel like I’m losing respect — or once I realise I never had much of it in the first place — I will cut my losses right then and there. It’s too much work to try and (re-)build it, especially when I didn’t cause it to be lost in the first place.

When do I lose respect for other people? When they do something so flabbergastingly stupid that it’s incomprehensible, like a pastor asking one of his former church people to be his booty call girl. (I typed out the entire story and felt like this was WAY TOO PUBLIC for something of this nature, so I’ll just leave it at that.) Like, he was in charge of youth and college. And he did that. So clearly, any respect I had left for him went out the window.

And I gotta say my head pastor had some good foresight on that one.

I don’t know why I’m writing this much when nothing really triggered this post…but as usual, I had to get some thoughts out.

Good night.

I’m seriously wondering what happened between Sweetune and DSP for Sweetune to follow Nicole and not stick with Kara.

It must have been something major, though, since Sweetune was with Kara from “Rock U” (ROCK YOUR BODY SAY) to “숙녀가 못 돼” (“Damaged Lady”).

Hmm.

A lonely earring // so lost without its partner // 돌아온 싱글?

"Recalculating."

This is what I meant by the weird challenge thing. So here’s one of Jieun’s cutouts at a graffiti wall of sorts.

Random, right? And how does this help “J”-brand (Joe Fresh)?????

I'm excited for your rundown of the recent episode of kntm! I check your blog weekly just to read the kntm posts :) Please don't spare any details when writing about Gippeum. She is my favourite contestant :D
skshim skshim Said:

DONE. ^_^ (Thanks for dropping by!!)

She’s my favourite at this point, because she seems to have a really sweet personality.

But honestly, YONGSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU jk jk jk kind of.

Korea’s Next Top Model — Guys & Girls
Episode 10 — Jet-setting around with “M”-brand (Metrocity)

Man, they’re only on Episode 10 yet they already dropped to 3 people….

PART I — They do this weird challenge involving Joe Fresh (and the designer!) where they have to choose and wear an outfit, take random/weird shots, and go to various Toronto landmarks/areas to take pictures WITH their previous shots that basically were made into cutouts. It sounds weird, and it is, but it was hilarious because they were going around in broken English, except for Seung-su who was surprisingly capable of getting around. Ultimately, Kibbeum wins (again) and goes with Cheol-wu (again), where they took in a limo tour and more good food.

PART II — It’s almost like a job…progress report? It’s not an interview, but it’s basically an assessment of their progress and potential. You can see each contestant’s strengths and weaknesses. It was good for each person to hear directly from the hosts and the photoshoot director (although again, Won-joong doesn’t have much screen time).

PART III — PHOTOSHOOT ON A YACHT WITH METROCITY! Since Kibbeum won the challenge, she got an extra 30 cuts which she stole from…Seung-su. Everyone seems to do well, but the guys especially get a lot of compliments.

BAH WHY DO THEY ALWAYS GO FROM 5 TO 3?!

1. Lee Cheol-wu

This shot gives me LIFE. It’s very simple yet chic and that bag sticks out in a very good way. It seems so natural.

He’s really inconsistent, but the thing the judges brought up was that he does edgy/high-fashion really well, while failing more with conventional looks (the alien shot, the masquerade ball). Yoon-ju previously (during the 3-on-1 discussion) encouraged him to be confident and fully present in the “normal” shoots. The fact that he pulled this off basically meant that he was a finalist.

Fashion Editor correctly pointed out that Seung-su is memorable but potentially too much so, where as Cheol-wu is less so but may be able to last longer without being passé/overexposed.

2. Han Seung-su

There was NO WAY he wouldn’t be in the finals. In the call-outs, he was NEVER BELOW FOURTH. As cheesy and awkward and (honestly) cocky he is, he’s extremely consistent and solid. I would be shocked if he didn’t have a career after this, even if he doesn’t win the title.

This photo is fine. Interestingly, the fashion editor was basically like, “The photo without your face is basic, but your face saves this.” So she continues to gush. She loves the B-cut (which seems like a paparazzi shot and I admit it looks good).

This is the most natural photo, with the most basic bag, so it’s pretty solid overall, I think.

3. Hwang Kibbeum

Like Seung-su, she’s able to effortlessly understand (most) concepts. Like Cheol-wu, she’s somewhat inconsistent, but less so. Excluding the music video challenge, she was never lower than fifth. The one thing I love about her is that her face/”mask” is extremely charismatic.

The Metrocity Brand Ambassador was all like, “Is it because of the strength of the model or the styling?” She’s all concerned because she doesn’t know if Kibbeum can be a good “plain” model. I don’t know. STUPID METROCITY. It’s interesting because in Cycle 3, when they had the desert shoot, she also saw things differently from the other judges.

4. Kim Min-jeong (TIED; ELIMINATED)

Umm. I think they sabotaged her. The actual photoshoot seemed okay in the end, and there’s no way this was her best shot. Also, she admittedly had the worst outfit out of all of them (that dress was not flattering). But yeah, this photo is quite awkward.

Overall, to me, she was the most improved, mostly because I didn’t see her potential at the beginning. As the weeks went by, she actually became one of my favourites, especially after that Gingerbread Man pic…which was glorious.

I don’t think they ever give the title to a young member though, although they normally make it into the final 3.

I’m in love with her face now.

4. Hyun Jieun (TIED; ELIMINATED)

She was the one I called the pretty one. She was also the tallest girl. I think she’s the most “natural” or “typical” model, but I’m glad she broke out of her shell. The makeover definitely helped with that.

The thing is, while she has a pretty face, it wasn’t a strong face, nor was it an emotive one. Kim Won-joong stated that the photo would have been “UHMAYJEENG” if she had a stronger face.

Backhanded compliments galore on this one: it’s the most “typical” shot, and it’s a little bit short of excellent.

Director stated that the red skirt carries the photo, and I do agree with that. (But Metrocity woman likes the photo, which I can understand because the bags look great.)

~*~*~ NEXT WEEK ON KNTM ~*~*~

It’s a live runway show in Daegu with all of the previous contestants!…which, if it goes the way I’m thinking, will be a pre-finale reunion show done differently…which I think I’ll like. But there are musical performances that the finalists participate in???

It’s funny how they all went to more natural shades for their hair, but Seung-su’s still shaved.

My money’s on Kibbeum, but we shall see!

Seung-su can speak English fairly well.

Everyone else is as bad as my Korean English accent.  -_-

It was all yellow….

Unlike a certain…courageous person, DS’s songs are quite varied. Compare “Something” (Girl’s Day) to “Mamma Mia” (Kara) to “Good-Night Kiss” (Hyosung).

All this to say I’m hooked on Song Jieun’s “Pretty Age 25”.

♫ 예쁜 나이 25살 예쁜 나이 예쁜 나이 25살 ♫

I guess this says that I’m over the hill….