Respect. It could be a loaded word, a heavy word…or even a meaningless word. Maybe it’s relative.
To me, it’s a recognition of the other person’s value and worth as a human being…cuz like, we’re all in this together, and we’re all in the same boat. There’s an element of deference and humility; I have to recognize that I’m not necessarily better than that other person.
It’s hard sometimes when the client is being a complete idiot, but you know, patience training.
But honestly, there are those who are senior to me, those that are at the “same level” as me, and those that I’m a 형/오빠 (older “sibling”) to. Those in my life, I respect. For better or for worse, I have a tendency to prioritize other people above me. (This isn’t meant to be a brag because with this comes my “people pleaser” mentality…which isn’t always a good thing.) From these people I expect the same in return.
Of course, I expect a basic amount of respect in less personal situations. For example, I expect clients to respect my work for them, especially when I’m bending over backwards in using my best efforts to complete the files. It drives me nuts when people think that they can bypass me and get better or more special attention from the lawyer (SPOILER ALERT: he’s not the one doing 90% of the file) or think that I don’t know what I’m doing because I don’t have the law degree. While I get that — obviously — he has the training and the knowledge of law, I have been trained for my job and have enough experience to do it well. Also, I ALWAYS ask my boss if I’m unsure about anything, because ultimately, it’s his practice, not mine.
Anyway, there are times when I lose — or never had — respect from a friend. That’s the point where I cut him/her off, cuz if I’m forever beneath him/her, or not even worth his/her time…why do I bother putting in my time and effort into the friendship? I mean, this guy is a perfect example of this.
Another example: I used to be close to this married couple (first I was close to the girl, but I got to know the guy afterwards as well). Basically, they were a 형 & 누나 to me. Eventually, cuz of school (I think???…for him???) they ended up going to Toronto, and that’s where my family was at that point in time. So obviously, whenever I visited, I tried to hang out and make time for them.
One time, they asked me to do a favour for them. It involved bringing dog stuff back to Edmonton for them; while they were coming to Edmonton for a visit, they had no room cuz their luggage was already full or something. They didn’t have much time for a visit so they were like, “Oh, we’ll contact you in Edmonton and hang out then!” So I went back home and waited…and waited…and waited…and eventually they contacted me but only to get the stuff I brought back.
This incensed me. I remember blogging about it back then (on my now-deleted Blogspot page) and ultimately putting them on BLAST because I felt so offended. Looking back on it, I obviously overreacted (there’s a reason I deleted that blog, haha), but that lack of respect was there. The thing is, they didn’t even thank me for doing them a favour. The stuff wasn’t exactly easy to ship back; I remember something leaking because it wasn’t closed tightly or properly…and in the end, I just felt like a glorified (FREE) courier service. So if I was going to be treated like this, why even bother?
Basically, once I feel like I’m losing respect — or once I realise I never had much of it in the first place — I will cut my losses right then and there. It’s too much work to try and (re-)build it, especially when I didn’t cause it to be lost in the first place.
When do I lose respect for other people? When they do something so flabbergastingly stupid that it’s incomprehensible, like a pastor asking one of his former church people to be his booty call girl. (I typed out the entire story and felt like this was WAY TOO PUBLIC for something of this nature, so I’ll just leave it at that.) Like, he was in charge of youth and college. And he did that. So clearly, any respect I had left for him went out the window.
And I gotta say my head pastor had some good foresight on that one.
I don’t know why I’m writing this much when nothing really triggered this post…but as usual, I had to get some thoughts out.
DONE. ^_^ (Thanks for dropping by!!)
She’s my favourite at this point, because she seems to have a really sweet personality.
But honestly, YONGSUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU jk jk jk kind of.
Seung-su can speak English fairly well.
Everyone else is as bad as my Korean English accent. -_-
Unlike a certain…courageous person, DS’s songs are quite varied. Compare “Something” (Girl’s Day) to “Mamma Mia” (Kara) to “Good-Night Kiss” (Hyosung).
All this to say I’m hooked on Song Jieun’s “Pretty Age 25”.
♫ 예쁜 나이 25살 예쁜 나이 예쁜 나이 25살 ♫
I guess this says that I’m over the hill….