I took a nap today.  So I’m definitely awake, and will be for a while….

So I was thinking about things and realised that I’m probably still single for a reason…well, actually, for a variety of reasons.  So because of that, I’m making a high-reaching and an improbable-to-meet list of standards for my future love.  The logic is that if I somehow find someone who meets the list, then it’s meant to be!  (Ha, fallacy.)

1. We must have a similar faith background.  I know that I’ve been going through a lot of ups and downs with my faith in the past couple of years, but that doesn’t negate the fact that God and my Christian beliefs are a part of my history.  That, with my struggles, is kind of contradictory, but it forms an important part of my life experience.  If my future ~lover~ doesn’t understand it, I don’t think we’d get anywhere.  I don’t want anyone attempting to convince me to give up my faith.  (I also don’t want anyone to force me into an ex-gay movement, but how would someone like that become involved with someone like me?)
2. He must have a deep respect for (good?) people, with love for family and friends.  I will not tolerate any haterade for parents.  (For those that don’t know, my mom died over 10 years ago — when I was 17 — from cancer.  I therefore cannot stand it when people take their parents for granted.  I’m not saying that there aren’t horrible/deadbeat parents out there, but I’m obviously not talking about them here.)  Generally, I do not understand how you can take people for granted.  Accidents happen.  Diseases like cancer are all too frequent nowadays.  Miscommunications (or no communications) can snowball into relationship enders.  That’s why I try my best to keep up with the Kardashians people in my life and maintain the relationships.  People are investments too, but I don’t mean the money kind (well, usually, HA).
3. In terms of physical…..  This is where it gets less clear.  I have a wide variety of people I find attractive, including Shinee’s Minho, Channing Tatum, Zac Efron, Shinhwa’s Minwoo, 2PM’s Nichkhun, Chris Evans….  Oh, and recently, GODFREY GAO.  And ack I almost forgot about Ryan Lochte.  Anyway, I think essentially, they have to be fit, taller than me (except for Minwoo; he gets a pass), and have brilliant smiles.  Generally speaking, the people I like apparently have great personalities (unlike, say, Charlie Sheen or someone like that).  But abs don’t hurt.  -_-  Also, age-wise, +7 would be nice.  I’ve had people over 40 and under 18 pursue me…and that was not a good thing.  Too young and I feel creepy (and also very responsible for the kid).  Too old and I feel like I’m whoring myself out.
4. I connect with a wide variety of personalities, so I can’t really say that I want an outgoing person, or a shy but intimate person, or a full-of-secrets & oh-so-seductive person.  As long as the person can make conversation, show emotion and care, be respectful and loving and silly/quirky, have humility and know that he isn’t perfect, I’m good.  Exceptions include hardcore hipsters, dirty douchebags, and cocky college jock types (yay alliteration!).  If someone thinks that partying is the be-all and end-all of life, or believes that being ahead of trends and counter-cultural (in a way) is supreme, we must part ways.
5. With interests, I also have a wide variety of them.  I connect with people over a mutual love for North American and/or Korean pop culture.  I connect with people over a love of games.  I connect with people over music.  Or fashion.  Or books.  Or politics (interestingly).  Or various other things.  Although i don’t expect to find anyone who has the same interests as me, i do expect someone to at least understand and partially relate to mine and vice versa.  Like, if the other guy loves sports, great.  I will support.  Just don’t expect me to play and keep up with all the teams and players.  But yeah…at least some overlap must be nice.  ESPECIALLY with my Korean-ness.  And the SPICE GIRLS.  I mean, really, he has to keep up with me, because I go pretty fast.
6. And 눈치 is really really important.  (Nunchi = kinda like a sixth sense/awareness of social circumstances — for example, if things are getting awkward/tense, or if the boss arrives and you must at least act like you’re working, or if you’re with Asian family members and therefore have to be respectful.)  Generally speaking, white people do not have much 눈치.  Koreans who don’t have it REALLY don’t have it.
7. Other talents: musicality would be nice :D So also would photography.  I mean, I can’t be a top model for myself only, you know?  Hahaha…  In terms of school smart vs. street smart…relatively high on both?  I consider myself both, although I think I would give an edge to school smart (the street smarts were developed/trained, I think).  So my significant other should be balanced as well, but probably the other way.
8. Umm.  He must cook.  I can’t.  This is actually kind of important cuz we can’t eat out all the time…which is what I do now.  Home-cooked meals add a sense of … homeyness?  Hahahaha….  I think it’s sweeter and more intimate.  On that note, Korean food would be an extremely welcome bonus.
9. Related: He must drive.  Although I can, I don’t like to.  :D
10. WE MUST BE CONSUMERS OF MATERIAL GOODS.  Ha!  But not to the point where we go into debt.  He probably should be smarter than me with debt management.  But I don’t mind being the more stylish/fashionable one, as long as I can make him over.  (I’ve done that with my friends.  And with one friend, he actually surpassed me.  It’s amazing.)
11. OVERALL: I mean, I’m probably stating the obvious here, but I want someone that I can trust fully (as much as I can trust any human), someone who I’d want to see when I wake up and go to bed, someone who can laugh and cry with me, someone who can help me up when I’m down, someone who can understand me almost fully, someone who appreciates me…someone who loves me.

I think I have impossibly high standards, and I think it’s intentional.  Due to my faith and sexuality conflict, this actually serves as a barrier of sorts, for better or for worse.  But if (when? hehe) this does happen…it would be something worth considering.

♫ i wanna dance with somebody, with somebody who loves me ♫